Trust Your Desire
This month I’m focused on trusting my desires; to be curious, and acknowledge, experience, and honor my desires in new ways and notice what happens. Since I’ve had very positive experiences detoxing in the past- lost weight, clear focus, stable energy throughout the day without caffeine or sugar- I’ve decided to participate in another Spring Detox from April 1st - April 21st.
Even though I tell myself I eat pretty well, I find myself experiencing headaches during the first week. It almost feels like a hangover or withdrawal symptoms as I choose to eliminate sugar and all processed foods from my diet. Madeline’s Bakery- with piles of bright pink boxes and glass cases full of cinnamon buns with white frosting, maple cream donuts, and apple fritters- is not far from the dog park or my house. I assume the moments of sugary-glazed, cream-filled delight are why my head feels like it’s getting kicked in the first three days of the detox. Tylenol helps.
Chia seeds for breakfast are not, and I feel will not ever be a fulfilling breakfast to me. However, I eat them because it’s good for me, helps with hydration and clearing out sluggish digestion. Baked grapefruits, while delicious, leave me feeling like I forgot to eat breakfast about 30 minutes after I’m finished with them. All the while I’m reminded of the war in Gaza and starving Palestinian families, not to mention thousands of other people on the planet affected by conflict, or natural disasters, or human generated climate change. It is a privilege to complain about eating fresh, healthy food that leaves me feeling like I forgot to eat.
Part of detoxing is remembering to drink enough water as well as eating healthy fats in order to feel full longer. I don’t drink enough water during the work day. Having meetings back to back leaves (besides no time to get work done), little time to use a bathroom or refill a water cup.
You don’t have to be perfect. 80% is good enough.
Also, you’re not supposed to drink a lot of water 30 minutes before you eat, while you are eating, or for an hour after you’re finished a meal. Sometimes when you feel hungry, you’re actually thirsty (dehydrated). People say go for a brief walk, or drink some water and then see if you’re still craving food.
I feel like I have a good rhythm with the timing of my meals, and for the most part can go throughout the day without snacking between meals. Prior to starting Hannah’s program I snacked between meals all the time. Between breakfast and lunch as well as lunch and dinner. Snacks, cookies, chocolate, all the things between meals because I didn’t drink enough water during the day or eat foods that satiated my hunger.
“Eat real food, mostly plants, not too much.” - Michael Pollan
Same as before, my headaches disappear after a few days and I’m comfortable with slightly elevated levels of hunger between meals. I tell myself it’s just a few weeks. It’s not that bad. It’s all temporary. Go to bed early if you’re tired. And I do.
Bula gives me the side eye. Always alert, and aware anything could happen at any time.
